Sometimes, talking to Jonas is like talking to an ESL student. He has *almost* mastered the English language, but he’s not quite 100% yet. I’m not exclusively talking about cute little kid mispronunciations (although, hearing him call that teeny yapping dog a “chiwala” was possibly the most entertaining thing ever. It helped that he was running away from it in terror, and later claimed that “It maybe had The Rabies.”) I’m talking about using the wrong word entirely, in an extremely funny way. Or basically making up new words, that *almost* make sense…. yet still don’t actually exist. Examples –
– “And THEN! The germs got SO BIG! They BROKE the tops of the petri dishes and got out! And they made the air EXOTIC! And when I breathed in the exotic air, I got a cough! But Daddy breathed in more of the exotic air than me…. so he died.” (A story the boy told to his girlfriend at school. I think it started out innocently enough – him attempting to describe the disgusting horror that was growing germs from his belly button in a petri dish. Maybe he couldn’t figure out how to wrap it up? Or felt the ending was lacking that level of drama that makes a really good story? All I know is that I got a text from my friend saying “Sorry to hear about Joe. The girls tell me that he was exposed to some germs and died.” Hmm.)
– While in the car, Joe is trying to get Jonas to say the word “hypotenuse.”
Joe: If we were all corners of a square, what would the line between you (Jonas, backseat – driver’s side) and Mommy (shotgun) be called?
Jonas: Diagonal?
Joe: Haha – yes. Good. But what is the line across from a right angle called?
Jonas: The left angle?
– “Mommy? What is the difference between a superintendent and a regular intendent? What makes one *super*?”
There’s more. They happen every day. Alas – these are the only ones I had jotted down in the back of my planner. But because I like all of you, I’m going to include this little story I also wrote down, that Jonas told us in the car. It has absolutely nothing to do with my Little Kids = ESL Students theory, but it’s cute, and I have no idea how to wrap this post up.
“I remember last time when Mommy was driving, and Daddy started yelling “TAIL LIGHT! TAIL LIGHT!” and now I know what the passenger is for!”
(In case you were wondering what the passenger was for. Joe and I seem to have different ideas. When I’m the passenger, the purpose I serve is keeping the kids in snacks and charged electronics. Joe’s purpose is, apparently, to point out when the car in front of me hits the brakes.)
(And then? He made me so crazy? I killed him…. so he died.)
Here comes trouble! 