I am sarcasm.

When Violet was two, my skeptical brother asked for proof that she knew what sarcasm was, (why doesn’t anyone just believe me?  I don’t make this stuff up!) so she explained it to him.  (Cue the squeaky, two-year-old voice…  )  “Being sarcastic means when Mommy says something, but she doesn’t really mean what she’s saying.  [...]

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The Plight of the Youngest

Joe:  Jonas.  You are not allowed to boss Daddy.
Jonas:  But VIOLET…..
Joe:  I don’t care what Violet does.  You. Do. Not. Boss. Daddy.
Jonas: But Violet ALWAYS bosses me!  I want to boss someone TOOOOOOO!

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Thankful

Raise your hand if you have the most awesome kids on the planet.
Nope, sorry.  It was a trick question (unless you’re Joe.)  You see, I have the awesomeliest awesome kids that were ever born. Ever. The stuff that comes out of these kids’ mouths…  The other day Jonas was droning on and on about something [...]

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Why Walmart is dead to me.

So we’re all familiar with Black Friday, my favorite day of the year.  (Ok, I like Halloween, too.  And my birthday.  And random Saturdays in the fall.  But shopping for the best deals of the year?  Ranks up there.)  This year several stores are getting in on the action early, with “Early Black Friday!” or [...]

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See ya, suckers!

So have I talked about the year-round-schooling thing here?  No?  I haven’t talked about anything?  I took 9 months off then came back and got right to the business of quoting smartass children without ever feeding the blog actual information about our lives right now? Hmm.
Well – I certainly don’t have time to catch you [...]

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Small post today – I have to go boil myself.

Giant freaking roach
just walked on my freaking foot.
Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.

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So, it just shoots the water right in your mouth?

A while back, Sonic’s prize when you bought a kid meal was a silly straw.  Only the bag said “Atomic Straw!”  V looked it over and said
“Automatic straw?  Cool! So you don’t have to suck?”
.
.
.

(And that’s all you get.  Jonas is sick, which means I’m not permitted to sleep.  Or eat.  Or pee without either [...]

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Oh the humliation!

On Thursday we went to the park (We were supposed to go to the science museum, because the deal was if V finished all her homework for the week by Wednesday then we would do what she wanted on Thursday and what she wanted was the museum.  She finished, and we made a big deal [...]

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BURN!

After a very excellent dinner with no major revelations, I passed out little plates for dessert.  Here we have the conversation that followed (I am such a lazy blogger these days.  Why think up original stuff when I can just quote entire conversations?  But seriously – if this was what you were listening to at [...]

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Angry Blogging

This morning Joe left for work without waking Violet up.
I lay there, listening to him pull out of the driveway, knowing that none of the three remaining people in the house had an alarm set, knowing that had I not been awake we would have been late for school, knowing that I was married to [...]

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