How to keep a two-year-old busy…

So, you find yourself sitting in a waiting room with a two year old boy. He’s full of energy. He’s bored. He’s…. two. You check the bag – no snacks. No books. No toys.

Apparently, it’s your first day on the job. Rookie. (Honestly – I don’t know how I managed to leave the house so unprepared. I did have diapers and wipes, though. And a sippy cup. So at least he wasn’t dirty and dehydrated, right? Right?)

Further investigation turns up three pairs of sunglasses and a digital camera. Well, honestly. I don’t know what you were so panicked about. That is hours of entertainment right there…

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Yes, I do channel my inner Nicole Ritchie when I wear these. Also, between the bangs and the glasses, the top half of my face is about three shades lighter than the bottom half. Sexy!

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We had a ball! Jonas tried on the glasses, I took the picture, I showed him the picture, we did it all over again.

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What are you laughing at?

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His glasses. They’re almost as entertaining as the Twink’s, because they make his ears stick waaaaaaaay out.

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When we’d exhausted the sunglass selection, we had to get creative and think of other things to take pictures of…

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You thought the glasses made my ears stick out? Get a load of THIS!

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I love Yo Gabba Gabba! It teaches the kids such fantastic skills. Funny faces, beat-boxing, Tae Kwon Do… Who says this show isn’t educational?

After the funny faces, Jonas wanted a turn with the camera. He took this fantastic shot of his “Mickey Mouse Shoes!”

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Because Crocs aren’t expensive enough, we need to spring the extra five bucks for Mickey. You can also see my very stylish plastic shoe in the background. It’s like we’re running an ad campaign.

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When he’d taken 37 pictures of the shoes, he gave the camera back to me and demanded I take one of his belly, and his tattoo (which he calls his “statue”.)

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Belly, check! It’s looking depressingly lean here. What happened to my fat, fat, sumo-wrestler baby?

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“Statue”, check! It says “Brave Patient” and has “Thomas the Choo Choo Train!” on it. It must be made from some kind of technologically advanced temporary tattoo stuff, because he got it at the ER and it’s still there. Yesterday at the pool some of it came off w/ the sunscreen application, and he panicked. Now we have this visual record for when it finally washes away.

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And there you go! How to keep a two year old busy while we wait for his sister to stop telling all our secrets to the shrink (you KNOW she’s told him how I let them eat cottage cheese and Cheerios for dinner. Or how messy my room is. Or how I post all her most embarrassing details on the internet…. ) As long as you have your camera, you’re golden. Or, you know, you could just come prepared with books and Goldfish crackers. That works too.