Throwing my hat into the ring

Actually, throwing Jaynie’s hat into the ring.

So I’ve been instructed to enter this baking contest by one of the Soap Chix themselves. Apparently, friends, relatives, and acquaintances of the judges are *expected* and *encouraged* to enter. Also, my creativity was challenged. Surely, what with all the amazing glue stick projects on my craft blog, I could come up with a creative dessert to enter. Forget the diet! Bake!

This does not seem like a good idea to someone who’s trying not to look like a moose when standing between her size 2 sister and size 0 cousin in a wedding in a month. Yeah – two and zero. How are these people even related to me?

Then the perfect contest entry fell into my lap. Or rather – was carried ceremoniously in and placed in front of me. You’ve seen it, you’ve drooled over it – behold, the best birthday cake ever…

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Come on! Forget the one with the real vanilla beans and chocolate ganache! Who needs Limoncello Tiramisu, anyway? This is one fantastic birthday cake, people! Award winning, even!

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The story of the cake: Once upon a time there was a girl who lived with her Mommy. Every year the Mommy would ask the girl what kind of cake she wanted, and would bake it and present it with love. Then the girl got married and moved far, far away from Mommy and quickly learned that unless she made or bought her own cake, there would be no cake. It wasn’t that the husband didn’t love her, its just that he didn’t have the first clue how to make a cake (the man didn’t know what the difference between Bake and Broil was), and as he did zero percent of the grocery shopping, it never occurred to him to buy one. So many, many years went by, and many, many white cakes were purchased by the birthday girl herself (who figured that she shouldn’t have to bake her own when Pepperidge Farm made such a nice coconut cake that all she had to do was open and destroy.)

Eight years later… the miracle occurs. Birthday Girl is presented with a cake. A cake baked with love. A beautiful cake. A delicious cake. Exactly the birthday cake she would have made, had she been in the mood to bake her own. Pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles and no chocolate anywhere (because while chocolate has its place, it certainly doesn’t belong on a birthday cake.)

I’m a little nervous about posting this recipe online for the world to read, but them’s the rules. Just promise me you’ll use this knowledge for good, not evil. No baking this cake to coerce someone into doing your laundry. No using this secret to bribe your sister into doing your homework. Use this recipe with caution – you don’t want the recipient to fall down and declare their love for you if you’re already married. Be careful.

Ok, you ready for this? Got a pen?

You take this – and this – , add food coloring and sprinkles and sugar decorations, get a Smart-Assed-Princess and a Tall, Dork, and Handsome (not a typo ) to mix it up, and voila! Birthday nirvana.

(I know, mix? Canned frosting? In a baking contest? Keep in mind this is my three-year-old’s entry. And it was delicious.)

Some pics for your viewing pleasure. I love it when Joe puts on silly outfits. I especially love it when I get them on film and then have the opportunity to post them to the internet at large -

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You don’t wear a tiara when you bake?

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Well how about a chef’s hat? That belongs to a 3-year-old? Do you wear one of those?

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They let it cool overnight, then got up first thing and decorated it so we could have it for breakfast. Yummm. The only way to start a day.

Letter placement is serious business.

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You’ve seen the finished product. Twice now. So to recap – first cake made for me in eight years. Made by my Twink, who was SO FLIPPIN EXCITED to be making it for me. She’s the one who had the bright idea to color the frosting pink “Because that’s Mommy’s FAVORITE color!” She chose the flavor (right on the money), the decorations, everything. It was wonderful and perfect and who cares if it came from a mix – totally delish. Also? She has eczema and living here (hard, choriney water) is really doing a number on her skin so she could totally use the prize. So that’s our entry.

 

Oh – and just in case the judges are swayed by a cute face…

Pick me! I need some Body Bling!

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Or maybe they are swayed by a bold fashion statement?

You can’t see my skin here, but trust me! Its very dry!

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I would encourage everyone reading this to head over and enter, but… you know. That would be more competition for the Twink. So just root for us, instead.

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(Man, I wish I had finished this post before finishing the cake. I could reaaaallly go for some right now. Le sigh.)